How To Create A Life By Design Instead of One By Default

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Are you tired of merely surviving through your daily grind? 

You know, you can actually break free from a cycle of boredom or stress and design a life you actually love. 

You don’t have to settle for a life by default. 

You can actually start thriving now.

We invited Nancy Gentle Boudrie on the show to discuss her 4R Method. Using an innovative and cutting-edge approach focused on the science of neuroplasticity of the brain. Nancy uses four foundational pillars to help her clients acquire new skills, drop bad habits, adapt to the environment, and heal from severe traumas and injuries. 

Curious what these four pillars are and how they can help you and your solo business?

Well, stay tuned, because we do a deep dive into each to help you live your life by design.

Like the show? We'd love it if you'd leave a 5-star review!

Connect with Nancy Gentle Boudrie

• For more info and to access the free ebook, visit www.awakenwithlight.com.
• Connect with Nancy on LinkedIn.
• Connect on Facebook.
• Follow Nancy on Instagram.

Favorite Quote About Success:

"Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you're doing, you will be successful." - Albert Schweitzer

Being a solopreneur is awesome but it’s not easy. It's hard to get noticed. Most business advice is for bigger companies, and you're all alone...until now. LifeStarr's SoloSuite Intro gives you free education, community, and tools to build a thriving one-person business. 

So, if you are lacking direction, having a hard time generating leads, or are having trouble keeping up with everything you have to do, or even just lonely running a company of one, click here to check out SoloSuite Intro!

About Nancy Gentle Boudrie

Leveraging over 30 years of entrepreneurial experience, Nancy specializes in personalized life coaching for modern professionals and leaders. Her unique fusion of business expertise and mindfulness coaching empowers individuals to craft a purposeful and passionate life. Through her trademark coaching methodology, "The Pathway to Inner Peace - Featuring the 4R Method," she guides business leaders towards conscious leadership, fostering holistic personal and professional growth.

Beyond individual coaching, she contributes to corporate success by enhancing culture, morale, profitability, and productivity. Services encompass leadership development, mental wellness programs, mindfulness coaching, and meditation practices, all aimed at creating a harmonious and thriving work environment.

Like this show? Click on over and give us a review on Apple Podcasts Thanks!

Episode Transcript

Carly Ries: 00:00

Are you tired of merely surviving through your daily grind? You know, you can actually break free from a cycle of boredom or stress and design a life you actually love. You don't have to settle for a life by default, and you can actually start thriving now. We invited Nancy Gentle Boudrie on the show to discuss her 4 R method. Using an innovative and cutting edge approach focused on the science of neuroplasticity of the brain, Nancy uses 4 foundational pillars to help her clients acquire new skills, drop bad habits, adapt to their environment, and heal from severe traumas and injuries.

Carly Ries: 00:33

Curious what these four pillars are and how they can help you and your solo business? Well, stay tuned because we do a deep dive into each to help you live your life by design. You're listening to The Aspiring Solopreneur, the podcast for those just taking the bold step or even just thinking about taking that step into the world of solo entrepreneurship. My name is Carly Ries, and my co host Joe Rando and I are your guides to navigating this crazy, but awesome journey as a company of 1. We take pride in being part of LifeStarr, a digital hub dedicated to all aspects of solopreneurship that has empowered and educated countless solopreneurs looking to build a business that resonates with their life's ambitions.

Carly Ries: 01:15

We help people work to live, not live to work. And if you're looking for a get rich quick scheme, this is not the show for you. So if you're eager to gain valuable insights from industry experts on running a business the right way the first time around, or want to learn from the missteps of solopreneurs who paved the way before you, then stick around. We've got your back because flying solo in business doesn't mean you're alone. Okay.

Carly Ries: 01:38

So before we jump into this episode, I just have to share this new free offer we have called the SoloSuite Intro Being a solopreneur is awesome, but it's not easy. It's hard to get noticed, and most business advice is for bigger companies, and you're all alone until now. LifeStarr's SoloSuite gives you free education, community, and tools to build a thriving one person business. So if you're lacking direction, having a hard time generating leads, having trouble keeping up with everything you have to do, or even if you're just lonely running a company of 1.

Carly Ries: 02:10

Be sure to check out SoloSuite Intro at lifestarr.com and click on products and pricing at the top menu. It's the first one in the drop down. Again, it's totally free, so check it out at lifestarr.com. Click on products and pricing, and it's the first one in the menu. Hope to see you there.

Carly Ries: 02:28

Nancy. Welcome to the show.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 02:29

Thank you so much for having me.

Carly Ries: 02:31

I think this topic is so important. When we were talking when we were first scheduling the interview, we were talking about creating a business and a life with intention behind it. And you have this whole program called the 4 R method. And, I mean, it's your program. So we haven't talked about this on the show, and I think it could be so beneficial. can you basically explain what the 4 method is, those 4 pillars? And then once you give an overview, I really wanna dive into each of the pillars, and ask some questions around those.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 03:06

so, the 4 R method is the first r is recognize. I'll back up. The whole purpose of the 4 r's is to create a pathway for you to be at peace, productive, passionate about what you're doing, purposeful. So I'm really teaching people how to dial in to be the best version of themselves, but also peak perform. So the first r is recognize.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 03:35

1st and foremost, power lies in awareness. We can't change anything we're not aware of. We can't develop something if we're not aware. So the first one is recognize. The second one is release.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 03:51

And in the foundation, of my program is a very mindful base because it's rooted in research and neuroscience and it's backed by, all types of doctors and and all kind again, research. So when we talk about releasing, we we're saying developing habits that serve. So mindfulness teaches us to be purposeful, living aware in the present moment with curiosity and nonjudgment. So in order to recognize, you have to foster being present. And then to release, you have to be greeting yourself with curiosity and nonjudgment because we most of us, we we're we're defensive of our habits.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 04:40

We're defensive of how we show up. And so you have to get out of that defense mode and be very curious on why do I keep doing this? Why is why am I have resistance to this? So that's the releasement process to rewire the brain. So we know we get better and stronger at the things we practice.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 05:02

And this is definitely backed by research that we can build the gray matter of our brain and quiet the amygdala, the fight, flight, freeze, it's in the back of our brain. They've got all kinds of data that shows people practicing mindfulness and quieting the amygdala. And in developing this prefrontal cortex where the rational parts of the brain. So we're actually teaching people to rewire their brain to make choice to support the life they want to live. So my mission and my slogan is create a life you design, not one of default going through the motions of life.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 05:43

So recognize, release, rewire to radiate your best self, to be that person you wanna be, to be the the, you know, the leader in your community, the the brilliant, individual that you were born to be. And what the beautiful thing about sole, proprietor, you know, people that own their own businesses and everything is they get to they already are in doing something that they're passionate about. They're not working for the man. They are working for themselves. So how do we how do we even capitalize that they've got one leg up when they're a solopreneur and they're in this environment of creating a life they design, not one of default?

Carly Ries: 06:27

Nancy, this is exactly why we

Carly Ries: 06:29

wanted to have you on this show because you're right. the audience that we talk to, they're people that want to create a business that supports their life and their desires outside of the business rather than the average quick money is everything type of people. But the sad reality is that people set out to do this, but then they get to the hamster wheel and they go they have to go through the motions because they have to make a living. And sometimes they forget that joy and that passion that put them into solopreneurship in the first place, which is why I really wanted to walk through your program today. So let's dive into to some of the specifics.

Carly Ries: 07:02

So recognize is the first step. How can solopreneurs cultivate that self awareness to improve their business and their lives?

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 07:10

Well, I think the the key point will kind of

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 07:13

throw some old little data out here. We're in a time in our lives that the stress and overwhelm is really creating undo amount of stress. people are overwhelmed. this is, you know, making chronic ailments and depression. and those numbers are so high.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 07:39

So what we need to recognize is the world around us has kinda bred this feeling. Whether you know, we just kinda get sucked into the flow. And our mental patterns are the things that we can control. We can't control our external environment but we can control how we show up. So enhancing beginning with our minds wander 50% of the time.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 08:04

That's how we're wired. So if you start learning how to live in the present moment, the foundational piece of my program of being present, learning, and there's there's tools and there's techniques. And learning how to be present in this moment, there's research and data that says that mindfulness will improve that focus and concentration, help you improve that mind wandering. And if you even take back your power on, like, 2%, what would that do for your productivity? What would that do?

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 08:33

But that's the key here is to is to that recognized piece. We're all in a stress filled environment and we have, you know, stimuli constantly coming at us. So how do we recognize that we're in that stress that hamster wheel, in that grind, grind it out, babe. Let's go, And take that pause and say, am I present? Am I living right here, right now, or is my mind somewhere else?

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 09:07

You know, yesterday's conversation, future bills I've gotta pay. Who knows? Am I really present right here right now And learning mindfully to be aware, to show up in your life, and and really dial into the present. That's how I began by saying what's, you know, what is the one thing that they could start doing and that's being present.

Carly Ries: 09:29

That's such good advice. It's funny because I was with some, mom friends the other day and I don't know if we ever finished our conversation. We were either distracted with the kids or phones or taking a call or this or that. 1. I don't think we finished the conversation, and 2, couldn't tell you what the conversation was about in the first place.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 09:52

and this is not anybody's fault. This is just what happens. We're not present. We're so busy putting out fires. And it takes choice to take a breath and be present.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 10:05

Even though there's lots of stimuli, how can

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 10:08

I get laser focused? I don't know if you've ever seen any of those, videos. They'll show, like, quarterbacks and stuff that practice all this mindfulness. They literally do not hear the crowd. They only are focused right on the play.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 10:22

And it's amazing. They built this ability to tune out the rest of the world. And that's basically what, you know, we're trying to dial in to be really present. I think one thing I hear from my clients that's really need is, like, I felt like I was finally fully present at the dinner table. I'd be sitting there thinking about all the things I have to do when I get up from here.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 10:43

Or, you know, what about that conversation I had with Bill? And did it go right? Missed the whole dinner conversation, missed the whole interaction with the kids, the wife,

Joe Rando: 10:54

And what about the phone thing? You know? Checking the phone while you're eating.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 10:58

While you're eating dinner. You know? And it's like I remember this one guy saying that to me. He goes, I was actually present. He goes, I almost wanted to cry because I felt like, wow.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 11:11

This this is what this feels like or actually, you know, I'm fully present. Whatever that is will wait. It's there. It's not going anywhere. You hold the power.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 11:22

So make choice and say, yeah. I think I'm gonna leave that phone in the chair in the den and come in here to dinner and be fully present.

Carly Ries: 11:31

Absolutely. Okay. So you recognize

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 11:34

Yes.

Carly Ries: 11:34

What's going on and everything. So then from the recognized stage, you go to the release phase. Can you kind of explain some of the principles of, like, mindful living in this release phase, and how they can help with some of these unproductive habits?

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 11:47

So, yeah, release is a very interesting one because first you have to be aware of what it is and what in the heck do I want to change. And the whole goal is to live that life you wanna design. So you have to look at yourself. There's nothing broken here.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 12:06

I just wanna improve self. I wanna be a better version of myself. So mindful acceptance teaches us we don't have to like what is, we don't have to agree with what is, but we have to mindfully navigate that it is what it is and effectively choose. And that's also called the art of detachment. detachment is not being aloof, it's being present, but being the observer.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 12:38

And you get to write your life movie. So what I tell everybody is imagine yourself sitting in the movie seats and you're watching the big screen and you're sitting there watching the person, you know, the big actors and you're watching this whether it's a comedy, whether it's a horror flick, whatever. And you're like, oh my god. Don't, oh my god. Did you just do that?

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 13:00

And all of a sudden, now that's the role I want you to play in your head. No. No. No.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 13:07

Nancy, don't do that. Right? So you're taking yourself out of being enmeshed in the experience and you're becoming the observer. So I want you to be the person sitting in the movie seats watching your movie play out. So that's how you get to the release statement, you know, stage of this program is that we start developing what is it that I need to release.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 13:31

I had a guy who said, I have a great life. I just have bad habits in place. I get home, I pour the scotch, and the next thing you know, I pour the second scotch and, you know, and then I'm so foggy in the morning. there's no getting up and going to the gym. There's no this.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 13:46

And it sounds very sufficed. You know? Don't drink the scotch. No. It's not that and that's not gonna solve the problem.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 13:54

It'll move to cookies. It'll move to, you know, something else. It's like, how do we get to the root of why you're pouring that scotch? What are you doing when you're reaching for the bag of cookies? And but you can't go from here to right here because we're so critical.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 14:13

We judge the amount of salt of our food, the temperature of our coffee. We judge everything. So you have to get out of that and say, what is it I'm looking to do and improve and how do I navigate? And first, I have to accept what is.

Joe Rando: 14:30

So can I ask a question, though? So you're saying that you really wanna narrow down your attention to the things that are important to the changes you wanna make. Is that a simple way to say it?

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 14:41

Correct. Right. And and you start noticing and then you'll start noticing, you know, how much time you spend being unconscious and just reaching for the scotch because it's a habit So mindfulness teaches us to notice those things more so you can choose to release.

Carly Ries: 15:05

Here's my question because I

Carly Ries: 15:06

feel like you kinda have to get to a place of self compassion or something to really release it. Because if you're watching the movie of your life and saying everything that you're doing wrong, I mean, people can be really hard on themselves. So do you have any recommend recommendations? Because I do like to properly detach and move forward with the other steps.

Carly Ries: 15:24

You need to have some self love there too. So what recommendations do you have for that?

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 15:30

Beautiful awareness, Carly, because that is the crust. I think the biggest heart the biggest hurdle I have to overcome is the lack we that that we lack self compassion. We have such a strong inner critic and we are driven by perfectionism and all these kind of things. So self compassion is one of the hardest things to develop, but one of the most important.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 15:55

And there's a series and typically when I'm working one on one, you know, I'm teaching them techniques that help build this self compassion in. And one that I can share, briefly here is it's called the RAIN technique. RAIN, like the rain that falls down out of the sky, r a I n. and this is a reflective. So, again, mindfulness isn't meditation.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 16:21

Yes. There is mindful meditation. It is very effective, very helpful. That's how we build that mindful muscle and be able to stop and pause. And I teach my my clients, you know, 2 minute, 5 minute.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 16:33

We're not talking sitting for 30 minutes and chanting all. We're talking about, you know, what's this quick hit to change those that that rational part of my brain. So but recognize this this this, RAIN technique, the r recognize, you're simply sitting in a reflective state of being. You're giving yourself a moment to reflect which is a mindful moment because you're getting out of your stress response and into the relaxation or die you know, rest and digest response. So recognize what's going on inside of me.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 17:10

Observe the anxious thoughts. Observe the inner criticism. Observe the emotions that are underneath those thoughts. Right? Get in touch with that.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 17:20

Allow. Allow what's happening by just breathing and letting yourself be that mindful acceptance I was talking about. Don't go in there trying to change things. Go in there with love and compassion. What am I feeling?

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 17:38

Your intention is not to try to fix or change anything right away. And it's about dropping if I'm being judgmental and critical on myself, I wanna switch into compassion and kindness for myself. That's so much more effective than berating myself. So the second is allowing. Then you roll into the 3rd step, investigate.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 18:06

What is most difficult about this? bring that kind and interested attention to what is being experienced and ask yourself, what's the worst part that I'm telling myself? And is this a fact or is this a perception? We're greater than the worst thing we've ever done, by the way.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 18:28

It's like, get out of that mindset that, you know, I'll never be good at this or this, you know, this is just how I am. Now you're greeting yourself with this, how can I respond? What do you need? And what spawnedness in me? Ask some questions like, is this a trigger?

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 18:52

Is this a habit? Is this a pattern in my life? And are these feelings familiar something I've experienced earlier in my life? Because you'll find that it is. Now you're trying not to analyze at the investigative state.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 19:05

You're simply being the observer. So we keep coming back to that curiosity non judgment watching the movie thing. Instead of thinking about what's going on, keep bringing your attention to how it feels in my mind, in my body being the observer. And then, finally, reign for self compassion is to nurture in. Nurture.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 19:31

So calling upon those wiser and compassionate parts of your being. You might place your hand on your heart center and speak lovingly, especially when I have my people that are anxious. I said, yeah. you do this? I know you feel like a goofball, but guess what?

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 19:49

It's gonna bring a feeling. It's gonna cultivate. It's you responding to yourself. And experiment with how befriending yourself, your inner world, it's how you would respond to a dear friend. And that's how you want to nurture yourself.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 20:06

So that's the one technique that I lead with a lot, because you're trying to cultivate, everything I need lies within me. We're a culture that goes outside of ourselves and we really wanna dial it in. It's an inside job. So you're trying to get in tune with those most vulnerable parts of yourself and know that you are seen, heard, and valued by you.

Joe Rando: 20:36

Question on this. This is the rewire phase now? We're rewired.

Carly Ries: 20:40

Yes.

Joe Rando: 20:40

And so doing that, it sounds almost like the first step in rewiring. Right? That's not the whole thing.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 20:49

no. Because it's the releasing going into the rewire because you're releasing that inner criticism. So it's kinda neat. Each phase it's like they each kind of overlap each other. And you will even find that simple exercise will now bring awareness to something you never knew about yourself.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 21:14

So sometimes, you know, I greet people with what they want, not what I think they need. But at the ultimate, because I've been doing it for 18 years, I know what they need to get to where they want to go. So the same kind of thing. You can't go in there with the agenda that I'm gonna fix this and this is like. It's you go in there.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 21:38

Wow. So that's what I'm holding on to. That's the resistance. Right? And the self compassion.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 21:46

So you're exactly right. That rain technique just starts putting your toe in the water. Self compassion is a very foundational and important piece in becoming that peak performer that, you know, that whatever that goal is that you want to achieve.

Carly Ries: 22:05

So starting with self compassion, now you can actually start the rewiring of everything. Correct? Which is what takes us to that phase. So what can solopreneurs or what techniques can solopreneurs use to establish those new would you call them, like, neural pathways? Is that the right thing to say?

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 22:25

Yeah. That is. So there's several and you again, remember, it's like anything. You don't become a scratch golfer after just taking a couple of lessons. Right?

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 22:37

You gotta build mindful muscle. So you start, you know, really taking the time to build a regular practice, to practice and reinforce these new skill set, whether it's taking time in the morning, in the evening, during the pauses during the day, and people gonna you know, I get it all the time. I barely have time to do what I gotta do. Well, we have to unpack that programming because guess what? You will become much more efficient, much more productive, much more peaceful if you do something like this.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 23:14

And so you start building these new neural pathways by doing techniques like the RAIN. There's also one I call stop. you are literally teaching people to s is stop, take a breath, couple of breaths, observe what's going on. Don't just get on board with the unconscious train. Be present.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 23:42

What's going on? If I wanna change the way I show up with my partner, you know, my colleagues, people that I sell to, whatever it is. Right? Clients, kids, whatever. Be the observer.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 24:02

Stop, take that breath, observe, and purposely proceed. You start doing something like that. We call it a mindful pause. You get off the crazy train of just being, you know, running around with your chicken with your head cut off. Right?

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 24:17

And yes, there is enough time. it's amazing. I had a guy who, just said he was a COO of a IT company, And he was just so resistant about practicing. I don't have time. I really just want you to basically, I want you to fix me.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 24:36

And I was like, you know, just throw me a bone, man. Just do a couple. Take 5 minutes. But it was amazing. One time when he was trying to crank out a work order and he had to put all the intricacies of everything this this that they needed to do cybersecurity wise and everything.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 24:55

It's quite lengthy. And he was just brain fogged, spry. And he heard my voice and he stopped and he took some breaths and I'd given him some breathing techniques and he cleared his mind through, I think at least he's told me he timed it 8 minutes and then went back to that task. He finished that task in record breaking time. That's why we have this programming that we don't have enough time, but we have to practice.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 25:27

We have to practice making time. And that word, you know, it's overused, the self care piece. Like, I don't like that word. You know, self care. Yes.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 25:37

You go and get your nails done. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the time you spend with self breathing. Drop into parasympathetic, the rest and digest function of the body. Give yourself just a few minutes and it'll really change how you address the rapid fire in your life because we all have it.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 26:01

The challenges, the volatility, the uncertainty, the ambiguity, all the stuff that faces solopreneurs. You can't get away from it. It's a challenge. Pain is inevitable. That's your challenge.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 26:16

Suffering is optional. It's your resistance that creates the suffering.

Carly Ries: 26:22

Yeah. So all said. It's funny because, we've been tackling this home renovation landscaping project for, I don't know, forever now. But we're finally doing some landscaping stuff, and my husband and I made the decision to not bring our phones into our rooms anymore after we put our kids down For the night.

Carly Ries: 26:41

And we've come up with solutions. We've been trying to brainstorm for months it seems like. it's like, okay. We'll talk about this. And I'm like, the only thing we did different was put our phones away. I mean, even if they were next to us, I don't think we'd have had that same conversation, and it is mind blowing how quickly we've solved these problems.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 27:04

Yes! Isn't that the truth? It's such, you know, what I teach isn't rocket science. It's just that I'm teaching you to cultivate a sense of calm. We've never been taught that. We think you work harder.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 27:20

And that's success. And by the way, I mean, how about the person who's a solpeneur and they've got an aging parent and they've gotta take care of them and they gotta go over and care give them? I mean, they're giving from all ends and, you know, there's no badge for burning yourself out on both end. so this is where, like that person, I really say it's valuable for you to please take a pause before you go over to take care of that parent or do something for them because you just had a stressful day and you might vomit on that person. Right?

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 28:01

And then you got remorse because I feel so bad for the way I showed up. Or you show up for the kids' game and you're all jacked up. And now you just you know? This is how, you know, you're really teaching people to dial in, to be present, and they can attract better opportunities, better solutions. They they get collaborative with their team just like you were like, almost yeah.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 28:29

You just solved world crises in the bedroom. Trauma doesn't mean you're a World War 2 vet. Yes. They experienced immense trauma. But trauma is running all the time and we're just stuffing it down, stuffing it down, stuffing it down.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 28:43

And then you got physicality, you got issues, you got mental, emotional breakdowns. So, you know, in our world, our problems are our problems. Don't mitigate that they yeah. Don't make you know, oh, I'm making a mountain out of a mohill. I'm doing this.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 28:59

If it bothers you, it makes you uncomfortable, then you gotta turn and look at it. You gotta actually face it. Don't try to power through it or conquer it. Just turn to it. And if, you know, and if it truly is doesn't have a deep rooted legs, it's gonna vanish right before your eyes.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 29:18

You're gonna see it for what it is.

Carly Ries: 29:21

Well, like you said, it takes practice, takes that repetition, but just gotta stick with it. Exactly. So that leads us into that 4th stage radiate, which that word, I don't know. When you say radiate, I just, like, see sunshine. Maybe that should be.

Carly Ries: 29:38

But I feel like how can solopreneurs keep that inner peace, keep that mindfulness going, that practice, so that they see that success in their business, they see that success in their personal life?

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 29:51

you know, just like we have to be disciplined on things in our business, it's the discipline of taking time yourself. What is that self reflective that I just described? Is it sitting in, you know, in the morning? I have one client. He has a gratitude practice.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 30:09

I'm just bringing the mindfulness piece into something he already established and as a business owner he established years ago. Whatever that looks like, you're setting the intention for the day and what can I do to support myself? And again, we're not talking large amount of time. We're just talking intent. What is my intention and dialing in to where my attention is at any given moment.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 30:39

Is it on my intentions or is it somewhere else? And so you're checking in with yourself regularly throughout the day. And if, you know, set an alarm, if you need to set an alarm to build a habit. We hear this all the time. But I do believe that there's a moment in the morning if you're sipping your coffee or doing something, there's a moment to really set that intention to, you know, be the best version.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 31:05

And also feed yourself. So if you have a favorite podcast person, you have a favorite this, things that will uplift and and fill you, you need to pepper in because we have negative stimuli coming to us all the time. And if you're listening to talk radio and, I don't know, and the news or something, you're just getting pulmoned. But, you know, take what is that music? Music is a powerful thing.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 31:33

It's vibratory. And so put on some of your favorites. you know, you're feeling a little rough, put on your favorite tunes. I would say that they it's just building these disciplined and I hate that word because everybody goes ahhh when you say discipline. But it is practice makes perfect. It literally is but we wanna teach people that it's not some big huge thing.

Carly Ries: 32:04

And if nothing else, practice makes progress.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 32:08

I like that. Yeah.

Carly Ries: 32:09

That's my husband's favorite quote because we have little ones and he's like, I don't want them to think they're perfect right now. But if they practice, they will have progress.

Joe Rando: 32:17

And my wife uses the same thing. She's a child therapist.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 32:20

I love that.

Carly Ries: 32:24

at my parents because they used to say that too, to practice makes perfect. I'd be, like, well, if practice makes perfect and nobody's perfect, why practice? And I did not come up with that quote, but I heard it somewhere, and that was kind of my thing to throw it back.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 32:40

and you know, I have to stay away from perfect because half my clientele struggle with perfectionism. Right?

Carly Ries: 32:47

Yeah. But I just think that's so important to get that. and I like how you said the morning, like, to just set that intention. Joe, I don't know if you noticed this, but this morning, but I asked Joe to set a 6 AM meeting my time. And it was because I love that morning time.

Carly Ries: 33:02

It's my me time. Nobody else is up. I can be productive or I could not be productive. sometimes it's so easy to sleep through that morning time when you're like, but I just love it. And I don't want to skip through that.

Carly Ries: 33:15

So, Joe, that's actually why I asked for that 6 AM this morning because I was like, it'll get me up, and then I'll have that morning

Joe Rando: 33:23

You know, it was 8 AM for me, and I was late.

Carly Ries: 33:27

I was like, what?

Joe Rando: 33:28

I was doing the other thing. I was enjoying the morning coffee very mindfully.

Carly Ries: 33:33

There you go. So you're good.

Joe Rando: 33:36

like coffee is involved or can be involved in this.

Carly Ries: 33:39

Exactly. That's true.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 33:40

That and the reason I'm gonna be totally that's transparent. That's mine. I get up at 5:30 and that 5:30 to 6 is my coffee saver time. And I talk to god. So it's my time to be there, to be present, to set an intention for the day, how I wanna show up.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 34:02

I wanna be a positive influence. I wanna make you know, I want to see the positive. I wanna be authentic. Yeah. This is where have this nice little dialogue, to just kick off my but I'm savoring that cup of coffee.

Carly Ries: 34:16

As one should. Nancy, I wanna know because I think we've covered so much. So just as kind of some parting words, do you have one piece of advice you wanna give solopreneurs to maintain that balance between their work and their personal well-being?

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 34:31

Yeah. I would just say the the one parting advice is you are a priority. And you know, set those intentions to honor yourself, take time for self, schedule those regular breaks, Set the boundary, I hate the word boundary. Again, this is where people get all, you know, wadded up, but you have to make yourself a priority. Success is not the key to happiness.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 35:06

Happiness is the key to success. Right? We've heard that quote. So you to cultivate a feeling of, I don't mean, like, joy, as in OHHHHH :) because this isn't real. We can't always have that.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 35:24

But we sure can have a content, an acceptance, a willingness, encourage. And that is a sweet spot of productivity. And you can cultivate that with something like a mindful practice.

Carly Ries: 35:43

Well, those are great words if I ever

Carly Ries: 35:45

heard them. Nancy, you help so many people find success in in finding that balance and everything. So this is something we ask all of our guests. What is your favorite quote about success? Yeah.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 35:57

I would say that I think it's Albert Schweitzer. It's, "success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you're doing, you will be successful."

Joe Rando: 36:10

That's my intention.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 36:11

Is it really? Because I try to tell everybody, you know, it goes right in with create a life by design not a default. When people you know, they come to me, they wanna make a living doing what they want to do. Well, first and foremost, don't go in with that attitude. Go in with, I love what I'm doing and because I do that's gonna radiate, that's going to be a ripple effect, and I'm going then I will create success in my life.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 36:42

But I'm coming at it from a place of just genuine passion and purpose and happiness, you know, that's how you breed success. Perfect. Love it. Awesome.

Carly Ries: 36:53

Joe, I feel like that needs to be our h 1 on our website, that quote. It's too late but still. Well, this has been so wonderful and so helpful. Where can people learn more about you or in your program if they want to do some research after this?

Carly Ries: 37:11

My website is awakenwithlight.com.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 37:16

I also have a free ebook over there that gives you some tools and techniques to navigate stress and overwhelm. So, feel free to go over there and get that. I'm active on LinkedIn, Nancy Gentle Boudrie, just like this screen shows, and as well as Facebook. Facebook, it would be awaken with light inc, which is my business name, awakening the light within us. And then, Instagram as well.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 37:45

I think that's Nancy Gentle Boudrie. I'm not as active there, but LinkedIn is my main place that I love to hang out. And then I do have that Facebook business page.

Carly Ries: 37:56

Perfect. We will have all of those in our show notes, but we can't thank you enough for coming on the show today. We've really enjoyed this time.

Joe Rando: 38:03

Good day, Nancy.

Nancy Gentle Boudrie: 38:04

Thank you. Thanks so much for having me, and, gosh, I just love what you guys do.

Carly Ries: 38:08

Oh, well, thank you. Well, listeners, if you love what we do

Joe Rando: 38:13

You know what to do.

Carly Ries: 38:14

You know what to do. We love those 5 star reviews, those comments, those subscribes. Please do that. We love putting on this show for you. And with that, we will see you next time on The Aspiring Solopreneur.

Carly Ries: 38:26

You may be going solo in business, but that doesn't mean you're alone. In fact, millions of people are in your shoes, running a one person business and figuring it out as they go. So why not connect with them and learn from each other's successes and failures? At LifeStarr, we're creating a one person business community where you can go to meet and get advice from other solopreneurs. Be sure to join in on the conversations at community.lifestarr.com.